James and I have been married almost 10 years and we dated for 3 years before that. Twelve of these 13 years, we have been in youth/student ministry...either in the church or as house parents to teenage girls at a children's home. Since high school I have had a strong desire to work in student ministry. I LOVE teenage girls...LOVE!!!
For the past year we have had a drastic change in our ministry focus. We have helped lead some youth Bible studies here and I have tried very hard to connect with the youth kids here but just haven't felt like I am connecting. I try and speak in Polish, but nothing ever seems to come out right. They are all learning English, but I have been trying to use only Polish when I speak to them so that I can practice speaking and listening. Then I get funny looks and they laugh and it makes me self-conscious and mad that I can't communicate and show them how much I love them. I have been thinking that maybe I am just outgrowing teenagers.
This week we have had a group of youth from FBC Georgetown, TX and wow!! They have reminded me that I DO love teens and I want to connect with teenagers. It is so frustrating that I can't speak like I want to. I just cried walking up the long, steep hill to get Macie at the TV studio because of my frustration. I know God called me here. I know He is faithful to equip me. And I know learning a language is a marathon and not a sprint but it's been over a year and I am still so slow in my language and am realizing how much I am desperate for the ministry I love and have known for the past 13 years.
I try not to bring my emotions a lot into my blogs but I felt like I needed to.